Come on ladies

So I went to my friend Ashley Irelands for a girls game night last night and was talking about what is going on with Gavin and my friend Laura said I had no idea this was going on. Then she said "that's crazy because I had a dream last night that you were adopting a child that was not an infant." No stinkin way!!!!!! How crazy is that!!!!!

Are you kidding me....eeeeeekkkkkkk

So I talked to Jim again today, I left him a message to call me because I was wondering about what he found out about me filing without Trinity and wanted to tell him what Deb had said. We got to talking about Trinity's charge and he was going over the laws with me again and mentioned again that the class c felony is what makes us ineligible, and that sounded weird to me. I told him that I think Trinity was charged with a class D felony Not a C. He said that that is not what Iowa Courts online says but if that is what he was really charged with then that would be a good thing. He said that he thought something was weird because the class C felony carries a 10 year prison sentence and Trint was sentenced with 5 years suspended prison sentence, 4 or 5 years of probation, and a fine. I had Trint look at the court paperwork from the trial and he was originally charged with a class C but plead guilty to a class D to avoid the 10 year sentence. I called Jim back again tonight and told him it was for sure a class D, and he said that's good. He said it does not for sure mean that we are going to get approved to adopt but that at least we have a good chance. When I was at work today and he told me that if it was for sure a class D felony then it probably would not be a big deal and then Trint told me it was for sure a class D, I CRIED!!!!!!!!!! I feel like doors are opening up. Like things that I could not make happen are happening. Come on Jesus, continue opening doors, move on Cara's heart to let us have Gavin , I want to lavish all of my love on this little boy!!!!!!

Open doors

So I talked to my sister Amy tonight, she told me that she spoke with Deb (Gavin's Grandma) and she told my sister that she has been doing some soul searching. I friended her on Facebook a couple weeks ago and she told my sister that she has been looking at my page and enjoys looking through my pictures. She said that she knows that Gavin deserves younger parents (as of right now Gavin is living with his grandma (Deb) and Grandpa, they took Gavin for Cara and have been taking care of him for some time now). She asked Amy if she had taken Gavin to Iowa to see us when she had him for a few weeks. Amy told her that she didn't bring him here and asked why. Deb told her that he keeps saying "Gavin go to Tracy's big house and swim in the pool and see puppies", she said he keeps talking about me. This is crazy because we went down to meet him and got there at like 7pm and left at 2pm the next day. We were only together for 9 hours and he remembers me and keeps asking to see me 8) This is so encouraging to me!!!!! I am literally on cloud 9 right now, I could scream I am so excited. Hopefully it all pans out with me being able to file alone for adoption, and well of course that Cara and Brian will surrender parental rights. I will keep you posted 8)8)8)8)

The Felony Factor

Really quick, if you are reading this, you need to know the main players of this blog, so I am going to get it all out here and now so there is no confusion going forward....yeah right

Gavin=the little guy that Trint and I want to adopt

Cara=Gavin's mom

Deb=Gavin's grandma, Cara's mom

Tim=Gavin's grandpa

Amy=Cara's and my sister (Amy and I have diff birth dad's, Cara is amy's birth dad's other daughter)

So after talking to my friend Kari about Gavin and just telling her how wrapped up I am in emotions for him, she told me that I just need to talk to an attorney to see what steps I would need to take to get him, if it were possible. She just told me to tell the Lord OK I don't know if this is possible, but I am going to step out in faith and talk to this attorney, you close and open the doors. I called her friend James Rowe and spoke with him about the situation....he said that we could just flat out ask Gavin's parents if we could adopt him as long as we did not mention any exchange of goods, services or money for him. That was a relief....but then he mention Trinity's record. He mentioned that he he may have heard that Trinity had some sort of criminal record and I told him yes that he has a felony assault on his record. Jim looked it up as we were speaking and went through the adoption laws with me and pretty much told me that Trinity's Class C felony-willful injury made us ineligible to adopt. ugggggghhhhhhh!!!!! He told me that he would check into the possibility of me filing for adoption by myself. So that is where we are. This is possibly never going to happen. I am really anxious about this whole thing and hope there is some way that I can file alone and then we can take steps with Trint adopting him after that.

My Heart, It Hurts

I've met a boy! He has stolen my heart! His name is Gavin and it is not likely that we will ever be together, He belongs to another woman.

Trint and I went to visit my sister a couple weekends ago, her nephew Gavin was staying with her. He is an adorable, sweet, fun 3 year old boy. Let me rewind a bit......Trint and I found out at the end of 2009 that we cannot have kids. Now normally that would not be a problem as we didn't want children. 

Here is the whole story: Trint and I started thinking about trying to have a child last summer and started....well.....trying ;) still at this point I was scared to death and every month my cycle would be 10-15 days late, giving me ample time to freak out and reconsider our decision to have a kid and change my mind and reconsider and change my mind. We are pretty impatient so after 3 or 4 months of trying with no luck we went to have Trint checked out and got the news that he would not be able to have children. Well of course being a people that want what we can't have (even when you adamantly didn't want one for 5 years), that made me want a baby even more! I think the news hurt Trint (well duh it did) but I think it just made him not want children at all. We never spoke about his inability to have children...I didn't want to hurt his feelings and he didn't want to talk about it. Well a couple months ago, after spending the weekend with my sisters twins we talked about it. Trint started doing some research into adoption, but Trint is a felon so we were told that we could not adopt. We found, well they almost found us, but anyways an adoption consultant who said that is a bunch of crap (paraphrase) and said if we wanted to talk about options to call her. Just then my sister has her nephew Gavin staying with her. Now Gavin is her sisters son and he is 1 of 5 children that her sister has. Gavin does not live with him mommy, he lives with his grandma. My sister mentioned that maybe we could see if Cara would let us adopt him. We drove down to see him, and I fell in love! Now everyday I keep telling myself that he is not up for adoption and that I cannot get attached to him. Well that was good in theory but every time I look at his picture I cry, leading to this blog. I was looking through my sisters pics of him tonight and found my self crying at the computer. I want this little boy. It is very unlikely that his mother is just going to give up parental rights to him and his daddy just found out that he was a daddy about 2 weeks ago, so he would have to give up rights also. See my dilemma. Now I love this boy that I have met once and don't know how to un attach my emotions from him because I had almost convinced myself that we could adopt him. I don't know what to do!