I need you Lord

Driving to work this morning I started to get this overwhelming sense of doom, and began getting sick to my stomach. It is the day for me to call 2 contacts I have for home studies, and thinking about them and Trinity's felony is apparently too much for me today. What if they say that we cannot adopt him? What does that look like? Does it go into a statewide database saying we are unfit parents, or can we just go to someone else and get another one in the hopes that they will make a different decision? I am so happy from the conversation Amy had with Deb yesterday that I could throw up and I am so nervous about the homestudy that I could throw up!!! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

OK so I went to lunch and called Carla and Ed (they do homestudies), they were both very very nice and both are very reasonably priced, cheap in fact compared to the typical cost of a home study. I was very upfront and told them both off the bat that Trint has a felony Assault conviction and explained the circumstances surrounding the conviction. They both said they have seen that before and it probably would not affect their decision, but they will have to look into it further. Whewwwwww!!! That was a load off of my chest! I asked them if they were certified/licensed to do home studies where the child is in a different state than the adoptive parents and they both are so that is great too. Ed said it will probably take 30-40 days for him to write our study. We have to send our fingerprints into the FBI, run background checks and send them to the state for approval on the felony, and then we will meet with them a couple times so they can get to know us. Lord I just ask for your favor!!! That you would go before us and prepare the hearts off all individuals involved in this process, from Cara, Gavin, Deb and Tim to the judges, attorneys, our families, whomever does the home study, and us. Lord I ask for the Spirit of Adoption to settle on Gavin and prepare him for this big life change and that he would naturally become our son. That he would feel safe and secure and he would know deep in his heart that he is loved beyond words and would be happy to call us Mommy and Daddy. I speak out against any plot of the enemy to stand in the way of the plans of the Lord. Thank you Jesus for letting this dream be fulfilled, not just for Trint and I but for Gavin. I ask that you make Trint and I the most caring, loving, involved, energetic, unselfish parents ever!!!

AMEN!!!!!!